learning to mentally record the things I'll never remember.

I think we're finally starting to enter the stage of childhood I've actually been waiting impatiently on for so long. I feel like we've turned the corner on big toddlers and moved on to full-out kid stage.
Much of this new stage has to do with the speech development over the past few months and to hear all of the things that are starting to come from their mouths is like music to my ears. They say funny things. They take things literally and have no filter (Isaiah especially). They say things that are so out of left field that you can't help but laugh at it all.

Last night they were taking turns playing a motorcycle video game that Chikezie plays, and I was seeing flash-forward visions of them as teenagers. He tells me he didn't teach them how to use the Xbox controller, they figured out how to do it all on their own. I watched them sit up so straight at the edge of the couch, pushing the buttons to steer the rider where they wanted him to go, looking down every so-often to make sure they were pushing the right button. I stared at them for a while, at their faces and posture. At the concentration and focus. They both looked so grown up.

This journey of motherhood for me has only been almost 5 years and it feels like a lifetime at the same time. I barely remember what they were like as babies. I remember a few details but forget the little things each one of them did through each stage. I used feel this need to document every single thing, to capture it, to write it out, to record it in every way I could think so that one day when my memory fades I'll have all of these stories to remember each and every day.

I've stopped having that feeling, and it's been replaced with the need to just be with them. There's no way for me to document how their hair smells when they wake up in the morning after a bath. I can't record Julian's voice when he runs to me when I walk in the door after getting groceries, jumps into my arms and yells, "I missed you!" and squeezes me for the next 20 minutes. I can't bottle up their giggles when laughing at an inside joke between them. I can't duplicate how smooth and fresh their skin still feels. I can only live it and be content with knowing that I might not remember it someday.

And on that someday, when my memory of this stage has faded, my memories will be replaced with new things I'll never be able to record. Like how their face will light up when telling me about a winning goal they scored at the game. Or how when they're all grown up and come home to visit us, I'll hug them and still feel those little boys I just completely drank in what seems like so long ago. 

Answering Hair Questions

I've been working on a hair tutorial video or two in the past couple of weeks but I'm really bad at editing, and making videos that aren't a year long. I'm no hair professional but I've learned quite a bit about how my hair works in the past year since cutting it all off. I thought I'd use today to answer a few questions people have asked me lately about my hair:

Q: I've been thinking about going lighter, but not sure how to go about doing it. What did you do/what would you suggest?

A: The process of lightening my hair has been a long one. So, my first advice would be to be patient. The first couple of times, I just got a ton of highlights put in all over. This process is pretty harsh on your hair and you have to wait a couple of months before doing it again. In between highlights I use hydrating/conditioning shampoo, shea butter hair masks, and my personal favorite It's A 10 Miracle Leave-In Product. This stuff repairs the proteins in your hair, which is what helps heal the damage from coloring/bleaching. It also makes hair smooth and manageable. I use this every time I wash my hair. The past couple of times I've been to the salon, instead of a highlight, they've done a color lift which is a lot less damaging and gives me a more all-over color rather than just dramatic highlights. 

Q: I want to cut my hair off but am nervous it wouldn't look good on me, I don't think I have a face for it. How did you get brave enough to just chop it all off?

A: ANYONE CAN HAVE SHORT HAIR. I hate when people say they don't have the face for short hair. It's like saying your face isn't pretty enough on its own. Short hair is all about attitude. If you think you look bad, that energy will radiate from you and negative self energy isn't attractive on anyone. My attitude with hair is that if I've thought about doing it- I'm just going to go for it. It's just hair. With a little patience and care, it all grows back. Part of the fun of hair is being able to change it up throughout your life. I'm telling you, you feel like a different person when you're able to step outside of your comfort zone a little bit. 

If you're nervous about cutting your hair, take baby steps. Find a cut that's shorter but not as short as you'd ideally like to go. Give yourself time to adjust to it before you go even shorter. Or you can be like me and cut it already. We spend so much time worrying about things we haven't even experienced yet. You never know how it'll look until you try!

Q: What kinds of products or things do you use to style your hair?

A: Short hair, if you want to have fun with it, will require a few products. A main staple is bobby pins. I use them most days to pin here where I want it to go. Here are some more products in my hair arsenal right now:
Smoothing Cream: Bed Head After Party
Hairspray: Big Sexy Hairspray

I'd like to throw the question board to all of you readers! If you have any questions about short hair, how I style my hair or I don't know...anything in general ... ask away! I'll do another post or two dedicated to answering your questions :)

Stitchfix #9

It's Stitchfix time again! They've been really listening to my feedback over the past few months and sending a lot of more exciting and edgy styles. Although every piece isn't always a hit, having someone send me something that's out of my comfort zone or what I wouldn't have chosen for myself is exactly what I think this service should be used for...not just sending you things you would have picked out anyways.

If you haven't heard of Stitchfix here are the deets: 
1) Go the link, sign up and fill out all the info they ask for about your personal tastes, they'll hook you up with a stylist who'll send you a box with 5 items that they think will look great on you, based on what you tell them.
2) Pay a $20 styling fee which includes the box shipped to you and goes toward your purchase should you choose to keep anything in the box. 
3) Get your box (which you can set up on auto for once a month or schedule them as you wish) and try on your items! You have 3 days to decide and there's a free shipping bag included to send back what you don't want.

I can't say enough about how much I love this service. I look forward every month to what surprise I'm going to get in my box and just really enjoy trying clothes on from the comfort of my own home. Oh, and let's not forget the outfit suggestions they send with each piece, so you know exactly how to wear it and can find things from your closet to put together.

Here's what I got this month:
This top is super comfortable and lightweight...great for spring when it's a little chilly still. I really like the look of this I just never really know what to wear underneath since the white layer is sheer. I wore a white tank top because I had no clue what to do lol

I really love the color and cut outs on this blouse. I paired it with a coverup I got a couple of months ago in a previous Stitchfix. My only issue with this (it's a tanktop) is that I'm just not really good at wearing big flowy tops. I feel like they just make me look bigger. I pulled in the waist here-I really feel more comfortable in things a little more fitted.

This jacket is very interesting. I love the high collar (which holds a hood) and the wide rolled up sleeves are also very comfy/fun. There's gold button and zipper detail and the cinched waist is perfect for my body. What you can't see here is the back is a lot longer than the front. I'm still trying to decide on this. It feels a little big and maybe it's supposed to be that way. 

This dress is super lightweight and comfortable. So comfy. And the length is just right for me, who at 5'9" and a big booty tend to find dresses too short. My only problem with this was that it was just a little too big on top. It's a large but the top half was just a little too loose on me, otherwise this would have been a total winner. 

If you know me, or have seen any of my previous fixes...you know I love me some scarves. I think lightweight was the key this month because this thing is just perfect. Love the colors and it adds just the perfect bit of flare to a simple outfit. 

Want to give it a try? There's nothing to lose, even if you only do it once, it's a super fun experience. GO HERE to read more and sign up!