With the dawn of a New Year has come the dawning of new goals of self improvement. January has just flown by, even without any significant stresses or events. Improving my health, working out, calories, weight, measurements...it's easy to get caught up in it all. I feel like when I really focus on one aspect of my life, other aspects suffer.
But here's the deal. No matter how hard I push myself, I still feel like I have no control. I struggle with this never ending need to get on a certain path and as soon as I feel I'm gaining some traction on my path, I get some clear reminder that nothing about improving my life will come easy.
One thing that comes easy for me, though? Noticing the little things, focusing on the things that make me happy and grasping on to them for dear-freaking-life when everything else seems like debris just aimlessly flying around my life.
My brain just knows. It knows how to find the little things. Or maybe it's my heart. Yeah. It's my heart. My heart does this thing of slowing down time just enough for me to see how great it all really is, giving my brain a second to take a snapshot and take a deep metaphorical breath.
Little moments like this:
- Having Julian fall asleep in my arms after a long trip to the Muir Woods. His eyes were half open, he was snoring. I just couldn't stop staring at his magical little face.
- As much as I hate to admit it- watching the boys enter new stages of childhood. For Isaiah it's the climbing and getting into everything he shouldn't stage. For Julian, it's the hitting stage. I hate these stages but I love watching my babies grow.
- Listening to the never-ending stream of short-phrase stories the boys have to tell me when I pick them up from preschool. "Julian ride blue bike" "Fell down and hurt his self". I know we still have so far to go but just the fact that they can tell me these things seems like a miracle.
- Sitting in the bathroom with the boys as they're wrapped up in shark towels, counting all the new freckles on their legs and arms.
- The sharing and the fighting. And the sharing again. And then the fighting. The learning how to be best friends.
And moments like this:
Blowing on the dandelions. The furrowed brows, the pursed lips. Sheer determination. We must have picked every weed on that hill.
This year, I'm going to bring the focus of my life to the little moments. And now, some more little moments await as it's almost 10pm and my children are still whining outside of their bedroom. Time doesn't slow down for blog posts to be written or for moms to have free time.
Where did you find your Happy Mama Moments this month? Join in with 11 other moms from all over the country who are working to find the everyday joys in motherhood. Check out the Happy Mama Movement facebook page or by linking up with a post of your own.