I don't know where to start with this post other than, exhale. If I'm writing this post it means I have at least ten minutes to myself where I'm not in full-time-mom duty or exhausted from such duties. We've entered a stage of toddlerhood where little dudes require my absolute full attention all day. It's hard to even get time to make meals. If I'm not playing with them, sitting with them, breaking up fights, preventing naughty behavior, watching what they do, changing poopy pants...if I'm not doing these things I'm just straight up a giant blob of blah just laying on my couch.
They need me right now, and that's perfectly fine. I keep trying to tell myself this, as a desperate mantra bringing me back from the edge of my mommy sanity. As much as I love my children, and any stay at home mom can attest to this, taking a little vacation in toddler-crazytown all. day. long. can quickly push your limits. I want some me time. I desperately crave those days when they went to speech therapy for 4 hours a week. I had four whole hours to myself. During the day. What?
They need me right now. When you decide to be a mom, you also agree to have your days determined by someone who needs you most. You put aside your needs for awhile, you suck it up, you find the positives, you keep trudging through it. I'm trying to remember this every day when I'm trying to sneak into the spare room without being detected as I hear the boys walking around the house, searching for me, needing something they can probably do themselves.
I close my eyes and breathe for a minute, because these days, a minute is about the most I can get.