so, i'm finally going to lose this weight.

I've tried a variety of things over the past couple of years to lose the last 10-15 lbs of baby weight that still hold on to me for dear life. This weight? This isn't like before. Before I had the boys, I lost about 15 lbs and a whole bunch of body fat. I worked with a trainer for over a year, I ran a few miles a few days a week as well as hit up the gym before or after work. I was good. I'm naturally an athletic and competitive person, I'd really hit my stride and felt great. 

With my friend Rachel before a 5K.

It's not the same anymore. Pregnancy really did some work to me, physically and mentally. I've just been stuck in this rut since about last year that I just haven't been able to break out of. Moving long distance twice in the past year along with all of the challenges raising two little boys learning to talk...this past year did a number on me. I just can't seem to gain any traction, find a way to lose the weight that works for me. And let me tell you, these pounds don't want to go anywhere! It's true what they say about losing those last few pounds after having kids, they just seem to hold on the tightest. 

I've always felt best eating clean, putting good things in my body consistently. Living with someone who can just eat what he wants has made things difficult, especially when what he wants includes some form of baked goods or pizza. And I'd give in, I'd think I was ok eating so much because he could eat more, so I obviously was ok. But our bodies don't work the same and I've just felt swollen. I've felt puffy, weak, soft. My clothes never fit right, they pucker and pull in the wrong places. 

The hardest part of losing weight this time is that it has to be a full on all fronts attack. I need to eat clean, I need to work my ass off. I have to exercise when I don't feel like it, when I feel like there are a million other things I should be doing. I have to track my calories, to hold myself accountable. 

I'm about 2 weeks into a DietBet and I'm feeling good. I've only lost 2 lbs (last week, just barely) but I've run and walked almost 15 miles this week and done some circuit training (so sore) and already feel tighter this week. We'll see what the scale says in a few days. I'm eating protein packed meals, lots of veggies and fruits, and oh lordy the water. 

It's so crazy to me how some women snap back from pregnancy. My mind literally can not compute how it happens. It's not just famous people, real women everywhere look just fine after kids without doing much. Well, I'm tall but not a bean pole. I'm pear shaped, I've got a small waist and some big child-bearin' hips. I've got strong legs and swimmers shoulders (even though I'm not a swimmer) I just haven't been putting any of it to use. If you don't use it, you lose it.

A lot of women start to accept that they'll never look like their pre-pregnancy selves. Well, I want to look better. Yeah, I have stretch marks and wider hips and blah blah blah. I'm not going to settle anymore, I've never been this person and I've had just about enough of myself being a wimp about all of this. Laying around for 9 months baking those dudes really softened my will, and well, it's back. 

Time to get ish done.

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