November 11, 2012

weight loss attempt number 900

For some reason it's really hard for me to admit that I've been a failure at losing the weight I gained while pregnant. I gained a little over 50 lbs and after all the swelling and whatnot went down after I came home from the hospital, I had about 25lbs to lose. I thought it wouldn't be too hard. I'd lost 20lbs before the boys were born and was in the best shape of my life. I just had to watch what I ate and work out. 

3 months after the boys were born I ran a 5k without really much training. Since that point, I've been up and down over the last three years. I've never been so wishy-washy with taking care of myself before. Things that used to work for me no longer work. I used to be religious about hitting the gym, going for a run. I've given losing weight so many attempts over the past 2 1/2 years and I've actually managed to gain 5lbs in the proces. (Moving all summer didn't help.)

I kept thinking, "what the heck is wrong with me? why can't I do this?" Well the answer is simple, I kept comparing new mom-self to my former single self. For some people, it's all the same but not for me. I changed a lot after having kids, physically and mentally. I picked up a lot of bad eating habits while pregnant that were so hard to break. (Let this be a lesson for any potential future pregnancies to not go hog wild with the sweets but holy cows I craved them and turned into a raging beast if I didn't have them. Sorry, husband.)

The worst part of all of this is that I KNOW exactly what I need to do. I KNOW how to be healthy. I know portion sizes, I know fats, starches, protein, fiber and how much I need to be getting and when to eat it. I know what work outs I should do, I know when I should do them. I know everything I need to know to lose weight. I was/have been an athlete my whole life and have a degree in Health and Sport Studies. But for some reason, none of this is really registering in my brain. And it sucks. And it's embarrassing. 

No matter how much I hate looking in the mirror, no matter how tight my clothes feel, nothing was keeping me from those cookies in the cupboard. It also doesn't help to be married to someone with a crazy appetite who can eat an entire cow and be fine. I've just felt like a total failure. 

So I chose Nutrisystem to help me. I've heard success stories, the food didn't look half bad and it's convenient (which is a big one for me because I never make time to cook for myself). Yes, it's all processed and packaged foods but if it's going to help me reprogram my brain into eating the correct portion sizes, to maintain some control over myself, to get my veggies in, to drink more water; then it's ok with me. It's not forever, just until I reach my goal and can transition back into real life without being a crazy sugar addict.

In case you're curious, I chose the Women's Select Plan which is pre-packaged breakfast, lunch, dinner and deserts. You add in 4 servings of veggies, and 2 snacks on your own each day. You get a diary that tells you what to eat at each meal, you just check it all off. All packages are color coded for breakfast, lunch and dinner so you get to chose exactly what you eat at each meal, though. You're also encouraged to add in 30 min. of activity daily any way you can, even if it's in 3 10 min increments. It does seem expensive at first but it's the bulk of your meals for 28 days and I think it pretty much evens out with any other food you'd eat in a month (including eating out). 

I'm on day 3 and doing great. The food tastes good, I'm not hungry in between meals, and have been eating more veggies and drinking more water than I have in awhile. I'll be weighing myself once a week because daily weight fluctuations can seriously drive a person crazy and I have far more important things to worry about each day than a number looming over my head. My goal is to lose around 30lbs over the next few months, hopefully by the boy's birthday in March. 

I want to keep you all updated on this new endeavor and if you have any questions I'll do my best to answer. I haven't been compensated at all by Nutrisystem, they don't even know who I am probably haha! Just want to share this journey with you! 

2 comments:

  1. You go mama!! This sounds like me and weight loss.

    ReplyDelete

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