I have a confession to make, I get jealous. I get a little twinge of jealousy when I hear stories about how great it is for moms to have conversations with their 2 year olds. How their kids can say all these sentences, can tell what they're thinking and feeling. I get jealous.
This speech therapy process is very slow. We're so far behind that each small advancement that seems huge to us, in the grand scheme of things still has a ways to go. The boys are still learning speech like most children learned before they turned one. They're working on saying one single word at a time. Two words together? Not yet. An entire sentence? I can't even imagine what that'll be like.
I want to have conversations with my children. I want to listen to all of the things they have to talk about, what they're thinking. I feel sad thinking about all of these conversations we're missing out on right now. I wish I could talk with them. People tell me soon they'll be talking so much, I'll want them to shut up. I can't see myself ever wanting them to stop talking to me.
With this jealousy comes an important lesson, a lesson in patience and strength. With this jealousy I cherish our journey a little bit more. Going through these challenges always results in growth and a renewal of strength. And the struggles I face as a mom aren't anything compared to the frustration I know the boys feel at times when they can't tell me something.
I know in time, this will all be a closed chapter and it will be hard to remember what it was like before they talked with us. Until then, we'll communicate together in our own way, mostly in Mommy asking questions that are smiled at instead of answered. Conversations where we speak slowly and in simple words, always hoping for a mimicking response. And of course, love can be communicated without words and we'll always find a way to communicate that.
I'm blogging every day this month in honor of National Blog Post Month. Maybe you should, too.