November 5, 2012

confession time: I get jealous.


I have a confession to make, I get jealous. I get a little twinge of jealousy when I hear stories about how great it is for moms to have conversations with their 2 year olds. How their kids can say all these sentences, can tell what they're thinking and feeling. I get jealous. 

This speech therapy process is very slow. We're so far behind that each small advancement that seems huge to us, in the grand scheme of things still has a ways to go. The boys are still learning speech like most children learned before they turned one. They're working on saying one single word at a time. Two words together? Not yet. An entire sentence? I can't even imagine what that'll be like.

I want to have conversations with my children. I want to listen to all of the things they have to talk about, what they're thinking. I feel sad thinking about all of these conversations we're missing out on right now. I wish I could talk with them. People tell me soon they'll be talking so much, I'll want them to shut up. I can't see myself ever wanting them to stop talking to me. 

With this jealousy comes an important lesson, a lesson in patience and strength. With this jealousy I cherish our journey a little bit more. Going through these challenges always results in growth and a renewal of strength. And the struggles I face as a mom aren't anything compared to the frustration I know the boys feel at times when they can't tell me something. 

I know in time, this will all be a closed chapter and it will be hard to remember what it was like before they talked with us. Until then, we'll communicate together in our own way, mostly in Mommy asking questions that are smiled at instead of answered. Conversations where we speak slowly and in simple words, always hoping for a mimicking response. And of course, love can be communicated without words and we'll always find a way to communicate that. 

I'm blogging every day this month in honor of National Blog Post Month. Maybe you should, too.
NaBloPoMo November 2012

6 comments:

  1. I understand exactly how you feel. My son didn't start talking until he was 3. It was rough! We communicated as best we could but I couldn't help feeling almost angry when my friends kids were talking to them in full sentences! It sounds so trite but it will get better! Keep celebrating all the little improvements!

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  2. I understand exactly how you feel. My son didn't start talking until he was 3. It was rough! We communicated as best we could but I couldn't help feeling almost angry when my friends kids were talking to them in full sentences! It sounds so trite but it will get better! Keep celebrating all the little improvements!

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  3. I feel exactly how you feel, my son will be 3 in march and he does not talk. I get so jealous of kids the same age or even younger than my son talking up storms.. :( We are doing our 2nd evaluation this month.. And im actually hoping he qualifies this time!

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  4. My little boy is 2 and a half. I'm so desperate for him to start to talk more. Can't have much of a conversation with just 6 words! The speech therapy is soul destroying . So little improvements :(

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  5. I taught a little boy in my PreK class a few years back that didnt start talking until he was well past 2 and still had many difficulties in PreK as a 4/5 year old. Fast forward a few years and I now teach 2nd grade...he's in my class again and one of the most animated, creative and fluent readers! I love listening to him read! He still goes to speech therapy, but it is wonderful to see and hear the difference a few years can do. I say this to encourage you and to never lose hope. It may take time and in the end look different than u may imagine, but anything is possible.

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  6. My son is 8 years old without any words, only a few sounds. His medical needs are complicated, but, I understand how you feel. Nothing makes me angrier than when a parent complains that their child doesn't ever " shut up."

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