toddlers eat parents for breakfast.

Two year olds are no freaking joke you guys. 

We've really been working to teach the boys the actual meaning of the word "NO" lately, and they're pushing back hard. They're constantly testing limits and doing things they shouldn't be. (Being normal toddlers.) Shoving things in outlets or taking the covers off, they just discovered the DVD player here and have been trying to shove stuff in it, throwing their cars across the room, slamming doors and opening them repeatedly, always turning lights off when we're in the room and need the light on (now that they're tall enough to reach them) in general just shit they don't need to be doing.

How do you teach your kids that no means no? I've tried taking toys away when they throw them, and they really don't care. Time outs are starting to be pointless and I find Chikezie and I threatening them a lot. We're turning into the parents I always was so annoyed with "Do you want a time out!?" we yell at the boys in frustration. Of course they don't, stupid. I also find myself saying, "One more time and you go to time out", and that approach is just as worthless.

I've tried getting down in their face, making eye contact and using simple words, "NO TOUCH". They hardly look at me and are off doing the next naughty thing. Or I try a lengthy adult reasoning with them, talking to them like they can understand the reasoning behind putting a pipe cleaner in an outlet will shock the shit out of you. 

And when one does it, even if I JUST told him no, his brother needs to come over and do it, too. You know, because maybe there'll be a different outcome if he does it. 

Now let me be clear, they aren't really naughty kids. (I've seen naughty kids.) They're actually, for the most part, super laid back and chill. But that doesn't mean the lunatic toddler gene isn't strong in them and that they can't prevent unleashing the crazy from time to time. 

What discipline techniques have worked for you and your periodically insane child? 


  1. I seriously could have written this exact post, except about one kid. Driving me friggin crazy. Good god I hope it is just the age cause this shits gettin old quick!

  2. Been there with my two they are now just have to be consistent and stand by your word if you say timeout it IS a timeout they are testing you and they know you may be saying something but are you actually doing it. Good luck we obviously survived. :-)

  3. Slap them?? This is Cody--I just have to choose anonymous because I don't have an account.

  4. I'm going through the same nonsense here. My 2 1/2 year old is pushing all the buttons with a new baby being in the home. I use the 3 rule. I ask him to walk away and if he doesn't (which is often) I start the count. 1 please walk away (if he still doesn't), 2 walk away or it's time out if I get to 3 I'm walking over as I get to it, I will grab his hand and walk him to his "fit chair" or "time out" ( same spot and same chair every time). This has been very effective. We only get to 2 lately. It's hard though when your 2 year old wants to politely try and reason this behavior! May I please jump. No you may not! Please may I!