I have a confession to make. A week or so ago I dyed my hair dark. I haven't done dark for awhile but I was feeling self conscious. A couple of weeks ago a stupid guy was at our house there to measure some trees in the back yard and made a comment about the boys and how he thought I was the nanny. I know so many moms of mixed race kids have probably been through this before but it was the first time anyone ever said this to me.
Generally, people always try to get out of me what color Chikezie is when they're trying to decipher where the boys get all their dark curly hair, or why their skin is darker than mine. "They must get that from their dad." As if I don't have curly hair (I know I straighten it sometimes). You know, because it's important for people to know these life changing facts; what color a stranger babys' parents' skin is and hair texture and thickness on stranger babys' parents.
Well I got self conscious. I laughed it off at first. That idiot. He needed to keep his mouth shut and not worry about the race of my kids or my relation to them. But deep down I kind of wished it was more obvious they were mine. I know to those of you who know us, just looking at our faces makes it obvious. Deep down I felt a little sad that nobody questions Chikezie's parental connection, and that people always assume their big hair or dark eyes or big size in general comes from him and not from me.
I dyed my hair to look more like my babies. Maybe not forever, but while I was feeling self conscious about it. Maybe it sounds stupid, because they are a perfect combination of Chikezie and I but I can't pretend that sometimes things like this don't bother me.