mixed feelings

Last night Chikezie and I watched with an earbud in each ear on our computer, a live press conference from Obama announcing the death of Osama Bin Laden. I felt a few different things hearing the news. First, I wondered if the news was true. It was such a random announcement, it was hard to believe something like that was actual news.

Mostly, about the whole situation, I feel sad. I feel no need to celebrate the death of someone our nation and soldiers sought out to kill. I understand what this man did. I understand what he would probably have done had he stayed alive. I'm not sorry for him. I'm not sad he is dead. I'm thankful the people that were on the mission to kill him didn't get hurt.

But I think of all the pain and suffering our country has gone through just to find this person and end his life. Families torn apart, so many people dead, to find this one man. I can't help but feel this doesn't change much. He was a leader and when one leader dies, another takes his place. These things will never end. 

I feel sad mostly that we celebrate the death of someone we killed. For whatever reasons we did this, whether it be revenge, to stop him from hurting others, for "justice", it's sad we had to end more lives for this kind of celebration. It somehow brings me back to 9/11 when we saw video of extremists cheering and celebrating at the deaths of so many Americans. I know we don't celebrate for that same reason but I feel there is some connection. Ending his life doesn't make me feel better about 9/11. It doesn't make me feel like there has been or ever will be any kind of "justice" for what happened that day. Or for all of the wars we've been fighting for the past 10 years. 

There will always be another war to fight, enemy to kill. I guess it all just kind of makes me sad. I'd rather be proud of our nation for something like electing the first mixed race president, than excessively celebrate the death of a bad person we used endless resources, money and lives to find in the desert and kill. Just makes me sad that patriotism is found in murder. 

But, just as much, I'm so, so thankful to those who sacrificed their time, lives, money, time with their families, etc. to protect us and keep us safe. I'm thankful for my family in the military, although they may not be on the front lines, they still have chosen to serve and protect us.

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