you only live once

With all the recent searching I've made with regards to family geneolgoy it got me wondering once again, about my biological father. I've mentioned before that I was adopted by my dad (Andy) around the time my parents got married when I was 3. When I was in junior high I finally started to question what that meant and realized that because I was adopted, he wasn't my biological dad. 

I've never had any problems with this, I love my dad so much. But once I figured everything out I've always wondered in the back of my head where this person was, if he knew I existed, if there were other half siblings I may have, if I look like him, etc. I mean, I do look a lot like my mom, but there are many qualities that I have that I don't see in anyone else. I don't look a lot like my brothers and sister or any other family members on my mom's side.

I've tried searching for my biological father a few times before but didn't come up with anything, until this weekend and a late night Google search. I found a picture. And my best friend and I did some comparisons of this picture and my baby pictures and there are some very crazy resemblances. My heart was in my throat. I was shaking. Just the prospect that this was the person was very overwhelming. I've never really seen anyone I look like (besides my mom) who had a lot of the same qualities as me. 

My mom has always been very open about the situation and I talked to her before I decided what I was going to do. She wasn't able to confirm his identity through the photo because obviously it's been a long time. But all the other details seemed to match up. So I've let it stew for the past few days deciding what I would do and then decided I couldn't NOT contact him. I'd regret it in the future. I have kids now and I owe it to myself and to them to at least try to find these things out. 

So, today I sent him an email. Hands shaking, armpits sweating, I typed a short email and clicked send before I lost the guts to do it. Is this the right person? I hope so. I want to have this piece of the puzzle solved. What do I expect out of all of this? A confirmation at the very least. But this could all go a million ways, I'm really prepared for anything....good, bad, or inconclusive. 

Send out some positive vibes for me today if you can, so I can get the answers I've been searching for. 


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