I occasionally visit the Babycenter boards to see what moms are talking about and to comment here and there on my experiences. Today I read a question about what you would change next time you were pregnant. I was surprised to see so many women talking about how they'd work out more and eat less to gain less weight during their pregnancy!
I'm SO sick of society's pressure on women to be skinny through their pregnancies, and then bounce right back after their baby is born. It's so unrealistic and it really takes the focus off of the important things. There are about 5% of people in this world who are just little to begin with, stay small during their pregnancy and can walk out of the hospital looking like they've never had a kid. All the rest of us don't have that reality.
Even as someone who values my fitness and likes to work out, the last thing I was thinking about in the first few months after the boys were born was how much weight I'd gained and looking like my former self. Yes, there were a few times I looked at old pictures from a time when I thought I needed to be in better shape...and then laughed at myself because I looked damn good. But I was so focused on my babies I didn't really care what people thought of my body. I just gave birth to two beautiful, healthy little boys, I'm going to have a belly for awhile! That's how it's supposed to be!
And I STILL have a belly. I don't care. I have no motivation to look like I did before I was pregnant because my body has been through a war in the past year. It has battle scars and will slowly heal itself into a new version of me. Would I like to lose some weight? Heck yes I would. I'm working on it. My main motivation to lose weight is to fit into half the clothes in my closet that I can't wear still because of the extra pounds. I don't feel like buying a whole new wardrobe. Not because I feel like I need to look a certain way.
We all need to get over this stupid image we have in our heads of what we're supposed to look like. Stop comparing ourselves to others or even our former selves. After children, you have a new body and it's your responsibility to then make it the best it can be...a new version of best, not the old version. And if you feel like staring at those skinny girls who have huge boobs and tiny waists after kids, wishing your little heart out that you could look like them, go right ahead. Chances are, they're staring at somebody else, wishing they could change something about themselves, too.