July 6, 2010

Two Pink Lines

It was a Friday. I was sitting at my desk at work just feeling like crap. I was kind of bummed about it, too because I wanted to meet up with friends to tell them all about my recent engagement story. (Which I will blog about at a future time). I hadn't felt right for a couple of weeks. Sore chest, cramps, super tired, you know ladies...regular monthly woes. Except for me, I usually don't feel this way for multiple weeks. 

So I was sitting at my desk, feeling like crap. I had some random slight suspicions that I could possibly, maybe, somehow be pregnant. Mainly because my friends and I had joked about me getting pregnant when Chikezie came to visit. I specifically remember myself saying to one of my best friends, Taryn, as we walked into Subway one steamy July afternoon, "Watch, Chikezie comes back and I get pregnant or something". To which she replied, "Watch out! All my really close friends are getting pregnant!" Those words couldn't have been more true-Taryn, you're a psychic.

I decided over my lunch hour I was going to stop at the K-Mart by my apartment to pick up a pregnancy test. I'd take one over my lunch hour, along with some Tums to cure my nausea (which I NEVER get...sign #1251 that I was probably pregnant). I quickly picked one of the cheaper tests from K-Mart. Not so cheap that the test would probably be wrong, but not so expensive that I paid all that money for a false test. Middle-of-the-line pregnancy test should give me the results I want, right? 

Fast forward 20 minutes to me silently sitting on the toilet in my crappy studio apartment, waiting for an answer that could change my future. I didn't know to feel nervous or excited. I didn't know what I should feel. I was just taking this pregnancy test, sure I'd see a negative. But as I saw the first pink line starting to form, I secretly willed the second line to stay away. I wasn't ready for a baby. I was just starting grad school, I was living on my own and the love of my life was half a country away. A baby would change everything. I kept staring at the little white stick on the bathroom counter as my secret requests for only one line were denied, and two very strong pink lines appeared in front of me. I stared blankly ahead. I could feel my heart pounding in my ears. I  nervously fumbled for the box looking for the directions to make sure what I was reading was correct. Yep, two pink lines = pregnant. "Holy shit" was all I could muster.

I called the local hospital's phone nurse to ask her how reliable these tests were. She didn't help me at all by telling me they're pretty much the same thing they use at the doctor's office and that I was probably pregnant. I was pacing around my apartment nervously. What do I do, who do I call? I called my mom. I told her I'd already talked to a nurse who informed me that the tests rarely gave false positives. My mom told me just to wait it out a few days, maybe I was just really stressed out. But if I was in fact pregnant, to take care of myself. (I'd recently decided I was going to move to California to be with Chikezie, and was trying to map out a plan for the move). I took another test just to make myself feel better:

I knew I was pregnant. I didn't really know how to feel about it, it didn't feel real to me. I didn't have a belly. I didn't feel anything. It was just a word at that time. But I did know that that word, and those two pink lines would change my life. I called Chikezie a few minutes later to tell him. He knew I was going to take a test because I'd been feeling weird-and I think he was just as shocked and in disbelief as I was because he was very quiet. ( I know everyone is wondering how he reacted...well, he didn't react. He was pretty quiet but much to my relief called me back later feeling much better after he had confided in a couple friends.)

I checked the clock; my lunch break was over. My hour had gone more eventful than I had previously planned. So, like any good employee, I returned to my desk. Fully aware now of why I felt like crap. Completely enthralled with what my body was now supposedly doing without me feeling a thing. I spent the afternoon looking up facts about pregnancy online, thinking I'd find a loop-hole in pregnancy test errors and such.  How would I tell my family? What would Chikezie's family think? Would I have to move sooner than planned? How could I possibly take care of a little one? Would Chikezie be a good daddy? The answers to those questions would have to wait, because little did I know of the adventures life had in store for me over the coming months...and that my body was about to embark upon a journey neither one of us had expected.

****
To read the next chapter in our saga: The story of when we found out it was twins!

11 comments:

  1. What a great story! If it makes you feel any better Ben and I tried to get pregnant for a really long time and when we finally did I panicked and had a huge "What did we get ourselves into moment". But now I'm sure you have no idea how you could be living without them. Babies sure have some magical powers:)

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  2. It's so hard to imagine life without them now, you're right! I think everyone has some kind of "shock" moment when they find out. I mean, you know it can happen but you just never know what you're supposed to do when it happens to you!

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  3. Oh, what a sweet story. Weird flashing back to those moments thinking of where you were huh?

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  4. Wow! What a story. And then to find out you had two babes growing inside. Talk about a shocker!! Looks like everything turned out perfect! God has a plan ... it's just His plan!

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  5. That's so funny! I took a pregnancy test in my work bathroom on my lunch break with my first pregnancy. Not the best setting for receiving that news! How are you supposed to work the rest of the day after that?

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  6. You completely left out our conversation via Google Chat before and after the tests, debating whether you were pregnant or not! LOL

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  7. It feels like years ago! But you know now that I think back on it-it's really not as glamouous or romantic as the movies make it seem! Everyone seems to find out at the most random or inconvenient times!

    And Christy-I completely forgot about that! OMG you freaked out when I told you! Ahhhahaha I love you :)

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  8. For a moment there I thought you were telling a current story! I thought you were pregnant again. Argh. I nearly died for you. Can you imagine?

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  9. LOL I'm terrified to be one of those moms who has twins then gets pregnant again right away! I seriously would probably go to the loony bin ha!

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  10. I can completely relate to this post! I took a test to prove that I WASN'T pregnant (despite feeling sick and overly emotional...) and sure enough, it was positive within a minute! Little did I know that the reason was twins... We were completely freaked out and terrified but it has definitely changed our lives for the better. I can't imagine my life without them. :)

    --Alex
    http://twolittlehornes.blogspot.com

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  11. I have a post ready for next week for the day I found out it was twins! It's a long one but a hell of a story :)

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