I'm watching an episode of Tyra right now and everyone is arguing about spanking. I was spanked when I was little. That was just what you did. I'm not a messed up, bad person because of it. Do I plan on spanking the boys? No. Here's my reasoning, based purely off of my own experience with being spanked:
- You teach your children not to hit, yet you hit them? I feel it just sends mixed signals. Telling them that only mommies and daddies can just kind of confuses me and how are they supposed to differentiate?
- When the boys get older, I think taking things away is a better form of punishment. Kids have so much stuff to entertain them, if you don't follow the rules, you get something taken away. Sometimes that has a much greater impact than a spanking.
- When they're little, I like the idea of having them talk to you about what they did. Children need to learn the ability to reason through things and tell you what they did wrong. Along those lines, I also like the idea of them brainstorming different ways they could have behaved that would have been better.
- I understand in times where the child could have put him/herself in danger calls for a little more authority. I'm not against a strong and firm voice but I won't yell. I got yelled at a lot when I was young. I'm over yelling.
- A lot of spanking I feel, is out of anger. Many parents spank in the heat of the moment when they're frustrated with the kid. There isn't any talk of what they did wrong, the kid doesn't know exactly what he did or have the tools to learn a different way to act in the future. He just doesn't do it out of fear. I don't really want my kids to be scared of me.
So what about you, did you get spanked? What are you doing or going to do with your kids? I'm not intending for a debate. Just wanting to see how people feel on the subject. I do know that spanking DOES work. I know kids can grow up to be well behaved, normal, functioning adults...it's just a matter of personal preference and your own parenting style.