November 12, 2015


Go to college, learn what you're passionate about, get a job and love it. I feel like this is the sequence of events that we're lead to believe is what life is made of. If we just follow that path we'll find our purpose. It seems like I should be on that path right now. I've studied one of the things I love, I've gotten a job in a related field. I'm happy doing that job. Something is just...missing.

Being a stay at home mom really changed me. I had 4 years where I not only got to write and be a mom, but I got to rediscover the things I loved to do. I remember a class in college that focused on "what would we do if we didn't HAVE to do anything" and how to find a way to do that as a career. For years and years I've tried to find that thing, that one thing that I know I could do forever and for years and years I've been lost. I enjoy a wide variety of things equally and just because I love all of these things doesn't mean they're related in any way or I could make a viable career out of them.

I've been doing a lot of soul searching in the past few months since becoming a personal trainer. Going back into the working world has been a bit of a challenge and I'm learning a lot about myself in the process. I'm also thankful that I have the luxury to decide on what I want to do, and how to make a career out of what I enjoy. But how to find that? 

I miss writing. I miss sewing. I miss creating and living in this creative bubble I'd formed for myself. I've been working so much and trying to balance family life that I've been completely separated from my creative home and I'm learning that's the piece that's missing. What does that mean for personal training? I still want to pursue that path. I'm trying to figure out how it all fits together.

So where to go from here...I don't know. That's the funny thing about turning 30 (oh my god was that a year ago already?) is that you feel this need to reevaluate where you are and where you've been. I'm not willing to settle for OK. I don't want an OK life where I just go through the motions and miss out on all of the things I enjoy the most in the chaos of just trying to get by, or just trying to get through a job.

I guess it's time for some reevaluations, some soul searching, some brainstorming and planning. I get this way in the fall, I feel the creative pull singing that same old siren song, calling me back home. I suppose it's time to listen.

October 10, 2015


I did it. I stepped away from the blogging world. (And I lived to tell the tale?) And look how beautiful I got! To tell the truth, I just lost the motivation, the inspiration, the everything-ation. Did I ever tell you that in high school algebra or something stupid, some friends and I started making a list of all of the words we could possibly thing of that ended in "ation". It was pages long. We were geniuses. Obviously not at math, but we all know we never really use math in real life, at least not without calculators. 

So why am I coming back? Or am I actually coming back? I don't know. I miss being creative. I miss writing down things that are happening in my life. As much of a pain it can be to write all of these little details, it helps me to live in the moment because I know I'll write about it later and more can be captured in a few paragraphs than in a photo. I don't want to be that person (well, now it's basically all people) who live through their phone screen. So I'm here. And I'm going to force myself to write a lot more. 

A lot of things have happened this year. I got a job as a personal trainer, we spent months searching for and then buying our first home, we renovated pretty much the entire house (it's still in progress). The boys started kindergarten and it didn't really phase any of us. We moved into the house. And now here we are. New house, new beginnings? 

If you don't follow me on Instagram, that's probably your best bet to get caught up. I think I want to delve into life as a home owner, maybe some landscaping stuff, remodeling projects, and a lot more fitness stuff.  

I look forward to seeing a lot more of all of you! I've missed it here.

May 18, 2015


Happy Monday! It's Stitchfix time!

If you haven't heard of Stitchfix here are the deets: 
1) Go the link, sign up and fill out all the info they ask for about your personal tastes, they'll hook you up with a stylist who'll send you a box with 5 items that they think will look great on you, based on what you tell them.
2) Pay a $20 styling fee which includes the box shipped to you and goes toward your purchase should you choose to keep anything in the box. 
3) Get your box (which you can set up on auto for once a month or schedule them as you wish) and try on your items! You have 3 days to decide and there's a free shipping bag included to send back what you don't want.

Here's a look at what I got this round:

Bay to Baubles: Constance Stone Tassel Pendant Necklace $34

Thin chain, just the right length. I'm really picky about my jewelry, especially necklaces (I hate stuff around my neck) but really felt comfortable with this. A simple statement piece. Keeping it!

Pixley: Samy Woven Dress $74

I loved how flowy this dress was and it's rather lightweight and comfy. The length was great. I just decided not to keep it because I really have nowhere to wear a nice dress and this one seemed a bit nicer than something I could wear casually. 

Pixley: Messi Lattice Neckline Knit Top $68

I chose to dress this top up two different ways. The first one is a bit dressier, I paired it with a midi skirt and nude heels. The second look is probably how I would wear it more often. I love the detail at the top and how loose and flowy it was. Definite keeper. 

Papermoon: Georgie Knit Tank $38

 Love this top so much! Perfect summer layering top. I put a long blazer/vest with it (Forever21). This will be a new staple.

There was also a pair of denim boyfriend shorts in this box but they just really weren't my color so I didn't even try. I've been very picky with my "keep" items lately as I'm working on building a solid spring/summer wardrobe with less, but everything can be mixed and matched in different ways. Simplicity is key.

Want to give it a try? There's nothing to lose, even if you only do it once, it's a super fun experience. GO HERE to read more and sign up!

May 12, 2015

a haircut and lessons in self confidence

A few weeks ago I finally admitted to myself that I wasn't ready to grow my hair out (which was ironic because I was already at a bob). I felt for some reason I needed to grow my hair out, that it was just time to have long hair. I really was fooling myself, because I've come to be more comfortable with experimenting with my short hair. 

This was the first cut:
I kept the undercut on the side but the whole thing just still felt too much like a bob for me. I was constantly pulling it back and just avoiding actually styling it. I've gotten busier over the past few weeks and taking care of myself was put on the back burner. SO, I made an appointment this weekend for a trim but ended up just going for it. 
This is about the shortest it's been in a very long time and I'm still getting used to styling it, but I'm loving it. 

I'll be honest, within minutes of having it cut, all of the old familiar feelings of oh my gosh what did I just do? When you cut your hair this short you can't rely on your hair to make you feel more feminine, to hide a zit, make me feel more beautiful when I'm having a fat day. When your hair is short, all of your insecurities about how you look are wide in the open, and it's quite the adjustment if it's something you're not prepared for.

Even in 2015, long hair is still the standard for feminine beauty. The majority of women we see in movies and media have long hair, if they have short hair, they're usually cute little petite women. The number one thing I hear from people is that they could never cut their hair short, "I just don't have the face". So let me put this out there: IF YOU HAVE A FACE, YOU CAN HAVE SHORT HAIR. 

I can tell you, and I know many women who can attest to this, they never regret cutting their hair. They learned so much about themselves and how they view themselves, and it resulted in a more positive body image. Now, I'm not advocating for you to just go out and chop all of your hair off (unless you've been wanting to, then by all means get to chopping!) but what I'm trying to get across here is that beauty is what we make it. Whether your hair is long or short, whether you're curvy or stick straight, you're beautiful. You're beautiful if you have freckles, or if you're on the pale side. You're beautiful if your skin is always red, if you have birthmarks. 

So, the moral of the story here: just be yourself, be what's most you, do what you feel comfortable with and don't worry about what society and what everyone else is telling you to be. You're beautiful and the length of your hair or shape of your body has nothing to do with that beauty. 

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